By Max Knoblauch From Mashable

Being a Disney princess seems like a dream job: You’re worshipped by countless strangers all day, you get free admission to Disney parks and you can explore the secret cavernous underground Disney dungeons that definitely exist.

But a recent Reddit AMA might have you questioning everything that you think you know about happily ever after.

Redditor too-tsunami — a former Disney character performer who played the Pocahontas, Mulan and Silvermist the fairy — went on Reddit to answer some hard-hitting questions about just what it means to get paid to be royalty.

It turns out that the unfaltering Orlando sunshine, heavy costumes and a handful of creepy dads make being a Disney princess a job best left to the two-dimensional realm.

1. Performers do not have a say in what character they play.

Don’t like being Pluto? Tough luck — a casting team decided you’re Pluto, so you’re going to be Pluto until the end of time.

“There is an entire casting team who chooses what role you play. You attend auditions which involve acting like the character, dressing up like the character, & having photos taken of you. You then wait & they call you if you are approved.

There are a lot of rumors involving the process of picking characters. You do not have any say in what character they fit you in. They do not tell you why you are not chosen for that character. You could look exactly like Cinderella, but if they do not need to hire any more Cinderellas, you may not get chosen.”

2. Disney visitors do some weird stuff.

Prepare to be horrified by the actions of strangers. Too-tsunami’s story about a family who licked each others’ faces is going to stay with you for days. Days and days.

“I was Silvermist, & we were meeting our last family of the night in Pixie Hollow. Tinkerbell, Rosetta & I were having fun with this little girl who was about 5. Her mom was with her, & the girl was being silly & running around laughing at us & talking a lot. You take individual pictures with the fairies, but we decided to ask if she wanted a special picture with all three of us. We stood together, & the mom said “Stand between them!” The little girl all of a sudden got really shy, & ran to her mom & hid. Her mom said “Oh no, are you being a little stinker? I know, if you give mommy a lick will you feel better?” The little girl nodded & smiled.

She then proceeded to lick her mom’s face, from her chin to her forehead. She laughed, her mom laughed, & Tinkerbell, Rosetta, & me are standing there horrified at the m night shymalan twist this meet & greet has taken. The little girl happily walked over to us & took the picture after she did it.

Never forget.”

3. Disney princesses occasionally prank each other.

“One time in the break room I saw Cinderella & Snow White fit comfortably under Tiana’s dress & when Belle came around the corner they popped out & scared her.”

4. Lots of dads hit on Pocahontas.

While this is something the pessimists in all of us probably guessed already, it’s exceptionally creepy to hear from the source. Pocahontas isn’t available, dads.

“I was hit on as Pocahontas more than Mulan or Silvermist, & it definitely has to do with the amount of clothing she’s wearing. I’ve never been touched inappropriately, but there’s always the family that makes the grandpa or the dad get a picture alone & they’d whisper how pretty I was or ask when I got off of work. I’d get slipped the occasional phone number on a napkin, but nothing ridiculous has ever happened.”

5. Your precocious child makes life difficult.

When playing characters who actually existed, like Pocahontas, the Redditor recounted several stories about children asking too many intelligent questions.

“Pocahontas is pretty difficult, just because she was a real person that a majority of children learn about in school. So it was always hard to try & change the conversation about why I’m standing there talking to them & not dead.

One time a little british boy said to me “MY CLASS VISITED YOUR GRAVE LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!!!”

6. The Disney employee cafeteria is a lot like Mean Girls.

Stop trying to make Scrooge McDuck happen. It’s not going to happen.

“When I worked there, I would go to the cafeteria & people would stare at me & not talk to me. Those people then would tell their friends I didn’t say hi to them & that I wasn’t friendly, but those people didn’t make an effort to talk to me either.

That’s how I think the whole “all of the princesses are bitches” thing gets around.

A little girl grows up going to Disney World with her family. She spends her trip waiting in line to meet characters who smile at her and hug her & give her autographs & tell her they like her dress. That little girl grows up & applies at Walt Disney World because she wants to be part of the magic. She sees Princess Belle, a character she’s met countless times, ordering food at the Cast Member cafeteria. Belle doesn’t smile at her this time, because Belle is a twenty-something who just did five meet & greets, & is a human being on her lunch break. That girl tells her Cast Member friends that Belle isn’t smiling & that she must be a bitch because she didn’t smile at her or say hello.

This is how that rumor gets around. I wish someone had asked me this question earlier. Yes, some people are not very nice. That is every workplace on this earth. It doesn’t mean everyone ever is a total asshole.”

7. Disney’s scheduling is where the real magic’s at.

Too-tsunami broke down how characters can be in so many places during the day without running into one another and the organization is amazing.

“Back when Toontown was still in the Magic Kingdom, there were three Princess rooms. One Cinderella, Aurora, & Belle in each one. If all three rooms were operating, that means when the girls went on break, other girls would replace them. So there were a total of six Cinderellas around the area at a time. None of the guests know this because there are attendants to take them into each room, one group at a time. So a group of thirty will go into room one, thirty go into room two, etc. etc.

It’s a very cool operation. I haven’t been at Disney since 2012, & a lot has changed since then. But if you think about it, Cinderella is in the Parade, doing breakfast, lunch, & dinner rotation at Cinderella’s castle, & she is in the princess room. At Epcot she is at the Norway breakfast. She’s also in the night time parade. She’s also in the main stage show at Magic Kingdom. That’s at least ten girls who are Cinderella in one day.

It’s awesome to think about the fact that you never see two together. It’s very cool, & very well planned.”

8. A lot of parents encourage their kids to hit characters.

What did Tigger ever do to you, Billy? Why must you do this?

“Kids are very aggressive, but most of the time they’re coming at performers who are comfortable in the costume & who know how to handle any kind of light abuse.

But you would not BELIEVE how many parents say “hit him! punch him! do it!” It’s incredible. I don’t understand the mindset of some people.”

IMAGE: FLICKR, JEFF CHRISTIANSEN

For more on this story go to: http://mashable.com/2014/08/27/former-disney-princess-ama/?utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Mashable+%28Mashable%29&utm_cid=Mash-Prod-RSS-Feedburner-All-Partial&utm_medium=feed&utm_source=feedburner&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher