Is it okay to spank kids? 10 things you should do instead of spanking

By Jenny Smith From Olwomen

Parenting
The basic idea of parental discipline is to create the ultimate discipline within your child which means you want your kid to learn some discipline, your system values and the variance between the right and wrong things that actually will be helping them throughout the life.

Effective-discipline-techniques
A research was conducted including the parents as target, and the majority of parents accepted that they spank their child. It was said by list of experts that spanking children is inefficient and it can even be dangerous. It is the ineffective approach because the kids will start fearing their parents, will not give them respect and it is dangerous enough for their physical emotions as well. There were some questions asked that is spanking a child abuse? Yes, it is because instead of understanding your children, you are spanking them or yelling at them.

After many researches done on the spanking of children, it was examined that spanking your child somehow depends on the time and place though many people didn’t believe that and also it was related to the education level of parents. There are many different ways of teaching your children disciplines and give them the knowledge of right and wrong and here are the 10 basic things you should do instead of spankings.

10. Apply The Friendly Approach
Apply the Friendly approach
Whenever you get angry at your children, try not to talk in anger and avoid spanking your child rather have some water and use the friendly approach; for example, if your child is misbehaving on the table or when you are somewhere in public, don’t shout on them or don’t spank them rather put a smile on your face, rub their back or shoulder and silently wait for them to behave. This gesture will make them realize about their mistake and this presence of your will be calming and will avoid the spanking part.

9. Ask Them To Repair Mistakes And Help Them
Ask them to repair mistakes and help them
If your children has broken something, ask them to repair it but don’t get angry or talk in anger, ask them calmly to repair the mistake and help them in repairing. For example; your child broke one of the leg of a table, help them in sticking it back; this will make them feel good and they will learn about repairing the mistakes.

8. Be A Role Model You Inspire
Be a role-model you inspire
Do you have any parenting mentor? If no, then make one mentor on whom you can rely and get suggestions from. Whenever you get angry on your children, try this in your mind that if your mentor would have been in the same situation, what would he had done? After that, the ideas you will get should be perfect in responding to your child in this situation. For example; if your child took a stick and hit you, don’t hit them back, take the stick back and tell them that it’s not okay to hit.

“Spanking is a form of corporal punishment and also sometimes counted as a child abuse. Try not to spank your children as it teaches your children violence and they get disconnected from you.”
7. Hear Their Side As Well
Hear their side as well
If you children has done some mistake and is misbehaving then. Don’t spank them rather ask them what is wrong and why is he misbehaving? It is good to listen their part as well, it will comfort them and might they will be able to realize their mistake and ask forgiveness. After hearing their part, you will come to know the entire story and might be the outcome will be different rather spanking. Asking them about their story will make you able to come up with a better solution.

6. Address The Behavior
Address the Behavior
When you are trying to teach discipline to your children, it is not necessary that you punish them when they don’t get it in the first attempt, rather support them, encourage them and give them proper guidance. They will feel good and get more attached to you and they will also take interest in learning more discipline easily.

For example; if your child hits another child in the playground, don’t shout on them instead concentrate on addressing the particular behavior and patiently tell them why hitting is wrong.

5. Explain Them The Feelings
Explain them the feelings
Before yelling or spanking your children after he has done something wrong, first try to analyze the situation and figure out what is causing them to behave like this. The biggest reason when child misbehaves is that they have not clearly learned a substitute approach to show their feelings.

The main goal of parents should be to teach their children that how to behave in particular situations and show their feelings instead of misbehaving or doing something wrong. Teach them to effectively express their feelings without validating their mood and behavior.

“Spanking your children is also considered as the harmful emotion for your child because a child can think that there is something wrong with her that’s why he is being spanked, he will not understand that you are trying to teach them disciplines.”
4. Make Rules
Make Rules
Make rules for your children and ask them to follow them properly otherwise it would not be good for them as they will get punished if they don’t follow the rules. When you make rules, stick that paper in particular areas of the home so that they are always notified of the rules; if they don’t follow it for the first time, punish them not a harder punishment but just a simple punishment so they can get warned about it for the next time.

3. Perform Actions
Perform actions
When you have to reach somewhere quickly but your children are not getting ready and not taking you seriously, ask them to get ready and tell them that we are leaving in 10 minutes, if they still don’t focus on what you have said, after 10 minutes, tell them that we are leaving and if they are not dressed up, take them and put them in the car gently in whatever they are wearing, by taking this action, they will be warned for the next time because it is possible that one day, when they don’t take you serious, they might have to go to school in their pajamas.

2. Get Calm
Get calm
When you are irritated or getting annoyed from the mistakes of your child, don’t spank them rather take deep breaths, pray or count to yourself or repeat an affirmation. These things will help in getting assess of things calmly so that you can respond positively than reacting in that particular moment. It is possible that we lose our control because of many things happening all at once and the misbehavior of a child will send it over the edge.

1. Put Yourself In Their Shoes
Put yourself in their shoes
When someone yells at you, you are hurt so just think about your child who you have spanked or yelled at, wouldn’t he feel the same? The main goal of parents should be teaching the children and to build them up not to tear them down. Don’t yell or spank your children because it will damage their self-esteem. Teach your children about the wrong and right but without making them feel shame or embarrassed.

Do’s
Do make your children realize about their mistakes.
Do let go the issue.
Do ignore and calmly teach them about the wrong and right.
Don’ts
Don’t punish your children rather understand them.
Don’t give physical punishment to your children, it makes them scare and they will be detached from you.
Don’t hit them.
For more on this story go to: http://olwomen.com/not-spank-kids/