Olwomen story of the week
Top 10 Needs Of Your Grownup Kids
By Jenny Smith From Olwomen
Parenting is not an easy task. You have to face many challenges all through your life. Every child has his own needs and demands and being parents, it is your foremost duty to respond to those particular needs and requirements of your kids. The early immature years of your kid are gone and now he is entering in puberty. Now you must try to understand the needs of your grownup kids and help out them in the best possible manner. Adulthood is the phase when your kids need you more and if you invest your time on them, your grownup kids would be a responsible human being otherwise he will be a failure.
10. GIVE THEM AMPLE SPACE
Give them ample space
Providing enough space to your grownup kid is good to impart confidence to him. Never inquire him unnecessarily. Let him speak and decide for himself. If you tighten the circle around your adult kid, it will take him to devastating effects completely crumbling up his personality and persona.
9. NEVER BE JUDGMENTAL
Never be judgmental
Do not be judgmental if your grownup child is suffering from any financial or personal trauma. You can help him during his crucial times by telling your own shortcomings. If you start a conversation with your adult kid by rebuking or scolding, the situation would get altogether out of control and your kid would start feeling disrespected and insulted. Being adult means he is learning and experiencing new things; and your negative and disrespectful attitude will cause them harm.
8. RESPOND TO THEM WHENEVER THEY NEED
Respond to them whenever they need
Your responsiveness towards your child measures your sincerity and concern towards their needs and issues. Usually it happens that parents start considering that their adult child has attained much maturity and he does not need them anymore in his worldly affairs. Well, it is not so. The grownup kids also need parents’ attention and suggestions to confront with life’s challenges. It is up to parents’ intelligence that how much they understand their adults and how they can make a friendly relation with them. Give them proper time, consult with them their issues and help them find out solutions.
7. SUGGEST SOLUTIONS THAN PASSING ORDERS
Suggest solutions than passing orders
Stop spoon feeding to your child about what to do or what not. Give your opinion but never impose it on him or her because your given suggestions may not be relevant to their situation. These days, adults are much more aware; adulthood means getting more responsible and being independent financially. Growing adults are no more dependant minors; they take the responsibility of their actions and decisions. This is obviously one of the most important needs of your grownup kids and you must never forget it.
6. ENCOURAGE THEM TO DISCUSS THEIR ISSUES WITH YOU
Encourage them to discuss their issues with you
If you are having some troubles regarding your grownup kids’ attitude and behavior, have patience than to get flared up. Create an environment where your adult kid would preferably like to discuss all his problems with you. Show your concerns about his well-being in a friendly and healthy environment. Your concern towards them along with your healthy approach will help them to speak their heart straight to you.
5. DISSOLVE A TENSE SITUATION PLAYING THE ROLE OF A PACIFIER
Dissolve a tense situation playing the role of a pacifier
Being parents mean you are the master of maintaining a healthy environment in your home. If you think that the conversation between you and your child has gone wrong and your home environment has become tense, take a step forward to dissolve the situation. A day out or a family dinner can relax the environment. Pacify your kid and then gradually bring him to a state where you can justify your opinion. This small gesture will help your adult kid to reassess a situation and have an independent decision for the ultimate success of your grownup kid.
4. NEVER HESITATE TO SPEAK YOUR MIND
Never hesitate to speak your mind
Do not ever consider that your adult kid is matured and independent enough to make good decisions every time. Although in their growing ages, you have tried a lot to tell them difference between good and bad choices. But still in their adulthood, needs of your grownup kids require your expert opinion. If you see that your grownup kid is suffering from a trouble, speak your mind to help them. It is not surprising that even a 22 years adult kid of yours needs your attention.
3. SELF-REALIZATION
Self-realization
One of the prime needs of your young adult is his realization of himself and your acceptance towards his individuality. Today, the youth is productive and knows better the needs of the hour. During these years of adulthood, they know their financial responsibilities and their matrimonial life perhaps better than you were having at your times. Instead of intruding in your adult child’s life, you should seek a professional advice to make your kid’s path smooth and silky.
2. DO NOT CONFUSE THEM
Do not confuse them
When your adult child starts his matrimonial life, the familial set up needs a change. Sometimes your resistance ends up into estrangement and bitter feelings. Here need to observe tolerance. Your adult child has the right to set rules for his home by himself; this is one the top needs of your grownup kids. you should stop interfering in his life. Be sensible parents and make him not get confused to choose between you and his family.
1. WELCOME BACK BUT WITH RULES
Welcome back but with rules
It might happen that your grown up kid would return home after a financial loss or a matrimonial failure. He/she would return to you considering you a shelter. Welcome back him for it is need of the hour. Discuss his/her problems and try to understand his plight to offer your help. Respect his identity and handle him as you will do with any other adult.
Your kid passes through various stages of his learning from infancy to adulthood. During this span of time, he needs your coaching, counseling and monitoring. The challenges of every phase are difficult to face but perhaps entering into maturity is the most crucial time in kids’ life. It is the time when your grownup kid has to take important decisions of his life. You can support him well if you understand needs of your grownup kids.