This article supposedly written by a “cop” has been making the rounds over the Internet over the last few years (since 2001) and has appeared on another local media site a few days ago so I thought I would investigate the claims which at first sight appear to be sound advice.

The version below began as a summary of the teachings of Pat Malone, a personal safety expert and former bodyguard and NOT a cop as is now claimed. The list is often titled “Safety Tips for Women” but the advice is for both sexes as it states at the end of the list.

If you go to the Snopes.com website (www.snopes.com/crime/prevent/ninetips.asp) you will find their full comments to the list that they say is a mixture of true and false information. I have paraphrased in italics their response to the ‘crucial tips’ contained in the article.

“Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

“1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

This is poor advice in that it recommends a course of action far more likely to result in the victim’s being physically harmed than do other potential counters such as running away and screaming for help. Engaging in hand-to-hand combat with an attacker should be an option of last resort unless you are very well trained in self-defense. While the elbow is one of your body parts that can be used effectively in a fight, it is not the strongest. That honour goes to the humble knee.

“2. I learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

This ploy would likely work if the assailant’s objective were robbery, but if he were intent upon kidnapping, rape, murder, or simple assault, throwing your handbag away would do nothing other than rid you of an item you could have used as a weapon.

“3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

The odds of being confined in the trunk of a car are slim to begin with, and they lessen when the extra requirement of the victim’s being placed in there with hands and feet unbound is added. Very few vehicles have tail lights that are accessible from the trunk, so even if one’s legs were free, there would be nothing to kick out to wave at others through. A better plan would be to look for the glow-in-the-dark trunk release tab incorporated into some newer vehicles. Also, the back seats of many recent models fold down to accommodate the transport of larger items, so go deep into the trunk and push on the rear of the back seats to see if they open. If pushing fails, feel about on this area for knobs or levers that serve to latch the folding seat backs in place and work them.

“4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

If the assailant has gotten into the passenger seat, the passenger’s side air bag (which is a standard feature in many newer model cars) will also protect him from the crash. Another plan would be to drive him to a police station rather than to where he orders you to go, reminding him that if he shoots you, the car will veer out of control and hit something, which will injure or kill him too.

“5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor , and in the back seat. B..) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

The proffered advice makes the assumption that every man sitting in a car parked next to yours is a would-be attacker. Rather than assume every fellow who finished shopping before his wife did is an abductor lying in wait and scurry back to the mall to get a guard or police officer to see you safely past this menace, continue toward your vehicle as you normally would, but stay alert to the perception of sudden movement from the direction of the suspect parked car or the sound of that car’s door opening. If while unlocking the driver’s side door of your own car you hear behind your turned back the door open on the vehicle you’re parked beside, kick backwards into that other door and scream, then launch yourself into your own car, lock its doors, and drive off. Almost certainly, rather than escaping an attacker who was making a grab for you, you will be giving some poor innocent fellow the shock of his life, but that will have to be the price he pays for opening his door when you were trying to get into yours, which is in itself a suspicious activity. Yet the question is mostly academic because someone trolling for a victim is highly unlikely to be doing so via waiting patiently within his own vehicle for whoever was parked beside him to return. He could be left twiddling his thumbs for hours only to discover his intended target comes back accompanied by three friends she met up with inside. Even if the gal returns alone, there’s no guarantee she won’t do so during one of those moments when the lot is awash with other people getting in and out of their cars and thus at a time when no attacker would dare make a move for risk of being interfered with.

“6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

Stairwells are far less trafficked than other public areas of buildings, which does make them more risky places to traverse. When taking the stairs alone, stay alert to the presence of others rather than allowing yourself to become lost in your thoughts and so losing focus on your surroundings. When at all uncertain about the behaviour of someone else in the stairwell, exit onto the nearest floor. Never use a stairwell unaccompanied where the doors lock behind you, thereby preventing you from exiting anywhere other than the ground-floor egress. Elevators also pose risk, but since they are better trafficked and more public, the possibility of being harmed while using one is much reduced. Even so, don’t get into an elevator car unaccompanied if at all uncertain of the car’s occupants ? If something strikes you as not quite right, wait for the next car.

“7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

We don’t know the origin of the “will only hit you 4 in 100 times” claim? it’s not a statistic we’re familiar with. Lack of familiarity aside, common sense would tell us to mistrust the statement that a gun-wielding bad guy hits what he’s aiming at only once out of 25 times. If you do choose to run in such situations, up your chances of getting away unharmed by first misdirecting your assailant before making your dash for safety. “Hey, what’s that over there?!?!?” might buy you that extra split second that makes all the difference, as might throwing your purse or briefcase at the head of the guy holding the gun, because his instinctive response would be to duck or flinch. If you run, do indeed zig-zag because you will be harder for him to line up in his sights than if you race off in a straight trajectory.

“8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

While Ted Bundy did trick some of his victims into going with him by appearing injured and in need of assistance (e.g., arm in a sling and attempting to hoist a canoe onto the roof of his car), he picked up others while they were hitchhiking, and others he attacked in their homes while they were sleeping? There was no “ALWAYS” about his methodology. Bundy is regarded by those who study criminals as a highly unusual serial killer because he was intelligent, charming, had well-honed people skills, and varied his mode of securing victims. It is therefore a mistake to assess the threat posed by those who murder random victims for the thrill of it by using Ted Bundy as a yardstick. However, it is not a mistake to keep in mind people aren’t always what they appear to be and that someone who looks disabled or encumbered might well be entirely able-bodied. Stay alert when you are around strangers, always allowing for the possibility of being the target of deception rather than letting yourself be lulled into a false sense of security by the other party’s apparent limitations. 

“9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird.. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door..’ The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, ‘We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

No serial killer used that ruse, and the story about helpful policemen who instructed the woman who heard such cries to stay inside and not open her door is fiction. The “audio tape of a baby’s cries used by a murderer to draw women from their homes” fabrication was born of the anxiety surrounding the hunt for the Baton Rouge serial killer in 2002. That case was profiled on /America’s Most Wanted/ in September 2002 and again in January 2003, but neither airing made any mention of the purported “crying baby” theory.

“I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well. Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better to be safe than sorry. Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life.”