Children’s Bill of Rights

My son came home from school today

With a smirk upon his face.

He decided he was smart enough

To put me in my place.

 

He bragged, ” Guess what I learned in Civic II

That’s taught by Mr.Wright?”

“It’s all about new laws of today

The Children’s Bill of Rights.”

 

“it says I need not clean my room

Don’t have to cut my hair.”

“No one can tell me what to think

Or speak or tell me what to wear.”

 

” I have freedom from religion

And regardless what you say,

I don’t have to bow my head

And I sure don’t have to pray.”

 

“I can wear earrings if I want

And pierce my tongue and nose.”

I can read or watch whatever I wish

Even get tattoos from head to toes .”

 

“And if you ever spank me

I can charge you with a crime.”

“I’ll back up all my charges

With these marks on my behind.”

 

“And don’t you ever touch me

My body is for my own use,”

“Not for your hugs and kisses

That is pure child abuse.”

 

“Don’t preach about your morals

Like grandmother did to you.”

“It’s nothing more than mind control

And it’s illegal too.”

 

“Mom, I have these children’s rights

So you can’t influence me.”

“Or I’ll call the Children’s  Services Division

Known as C.S.D.”

 

“Of course my first instinct was

To toss him out the door,”

“But the chance to teach him a lesson

Made me think a little more.”

 

I mulled it over carefully

I couldn’t let this go

A smile crept on my face

Cause he is messing with a pro.

 

Next day I took him shopping

At the local Goodwill store,

I said to him, ” Pick all you want

There’s shirts and pants galore.

 

I called and checked with CSD

Who said they didn’t care,

If I bought you K-Mart shoes

Instead of those Nike Airs.

 

“I’ve cancelled your appointment

To take your drivers test

The CSD is unconcerned

So I shall decide what’s best.”

 

I said,” No time to stop and eat

Or pick up stuff to munch,”

“And tomorrow you can start to learn

To prepare your own lunch.”

 

” Just save all your appetite

And wait for dinnertime,”

“We’re having liver and onions

A favorite dish of mine.”

 

He asked me,” Can I rent a movie

To watch on my VCR?”

I replied,” I’m sorry, but I sold your color TV

For new tires on my car.”

 

“I also rented out your room

You’ll take the couch instead.”

“The CSD only requires

Just a roof over your head.”

 

“Your clothing won’t be trendy now

I’ll choose what you can eat.”

“And that allowance that you used to get

Will buy me something really neat.”

 

“I’m selling off your jet skis

Dirt bike and roller blades,”

“Check out my Parent’s Bill of Rights

That goes on effect today.”

 

“Hey hotshot why are you crying?

Why are you down on your knees?”

“Are you asking God to help you out

Instead of calling your buddies at CSD?

 

“Remember all those no’s you said

When I wanted something done?”

“I turned the tables on your game

Now mom’s the one having fun.”

 

“Are you having a problem son?

Call CSD and ask them for advice.

“See if they can help you now

When please no longer will suffice.”

 

“I’ll never ever hurt you son

But don’t ever act smart with me, please.”

“Cause CSD and your so called friends

Won’t be there for you, Oh Jeez!”

 

“Your Bill Of Rights might work for some

But it definitely won’t work for you today.”

“To get respect you must first earn it

Show mom you’ll pay your way.”

 

” Cause remember son,I’m your mother

And so thank God each day for me.”

As for CSD no child can ever be smart

Playing on mom’s ” special ingenuity.”

Writer Unknown