I have missed you this past week.  My father, Ross, passed away, so my life has been consumed with the details of his life.  His memorial service was Saturday.  The most difficult part was knowing how much he would have enjoyed seeing all the family and friends that attended.

I told you, in a recent column, he made the best barbeque sauce ever.  In memory of him I made it for his memorial.  Many people came to tell me that I was right…it was the best they had ever eaten.  I reminded them it was my version and not quite as perfect.  I was told it could not have been any better…and I could not have received a better compliment.

Death is the definitive two-edged sword.  There are so many beautiful memories raised.  I spent three days looking through generations of photographs and could not help but smile.  There is the contact with those you rarely see and care for so very much.

Then there is the finality of your loss.  Wanting to pick up the phone to ask a question…then remembering you cannot.  Missing the physical touch, the hugs, the laugh.  The passing of both my parents were peaceful and prayerful and I will see them again.  Every time I left dad I said, “I will see you tomorrow.”  I knew I would…this side or the other…see him tomorrow.  How grateful I am for the promise of tomorrow.

When I was in prayer during dad’s final moments, I asked God to lead me to a scripture.  Psalm 71 says, “O, Lord, you alone are my hope.  You have been with me from birth; from my mother’s womb you have cared for me.  And now, in my old age, don’t set me aside.  Don’t abandon me when my strength is failing.  Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God.  You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth, you will restore me and comfort me once again.”

The real secret to dad’s barbeque sauce was time.  Dad simmered it for hours and time, as we know, makes everything better.

Ross’s World Famous Barbeque Sauce

¼ cup canola oil
2 large onions (diced)
3 bottles Kraft Original Barbecue Sauce
2 8 oz. cans tomato sauce
3 cups water
2 Tbls. Worcestershire sauce
¼ cup catsup
½ tsp. sea salt
¼ tsp. black pepper
¼ tsp. crushed red pepper

Heat oil in large heavy pot over medium heat.  Add onions, salt and both peppers.  Cook over low heat so onions don’t brown.  After onions become translucent, add barbeque sauce, tomato sauce, water, Worcestershire sauce and catsup.  Simmer for at least two hours, uncovered and stirring often.  The onions will easily scorch.