After reading Derek Haines, MBE, “Hazardous Waters – A Detective’s Memoirs”, I uttered aloud Oliver Twist’s anguished cry, “Please sir, I want some more.”

It took me just two days to read all 233 pages of this “thrilling (autobiography) of Derek’s career in the police service across the globe. This highly decorated detective’s real-life experiences make fiction pale in comparison. Derek’s journey from cadet to Detective Chief Superintendent showcases his significant role in solving serious crimes like murder, corruption, and drug trafficking. He also led operations during the catastrophic Hurricane Ivan in 2004.”

It would have taken me less but I also have to work and look after a sadly sick wife. I am not lying or over stating, Derek’s book is one that is very hard to put down once you start.

I know Derek from the first time he came to live here on Grand Cayman in early 1995 when I was working at the Island’s local Broadcast Television Station I owned with my dear wife Joan. It was professional only and in case you think this critique is biased by this fact you are wrong. I think both of us would agree we are “friendly” and will when we meet, smile politely, and even shake hands.

I was asked by his very close friend and my friend, Chris Johnson, to meet with him and Derek at a recent lunch time to see if I would critique this book. I, of course, said ‘Yes’ as it was going to be a FREE lunch. In fact Derek was there with his lovely wife, and on handing me a FREE copy of his book they both left very quickly so I had no chance to interview him about it.

In fact, I have not seen nor spoken to him since.

I have two personal memories of him and my first was at a Pirates Week Landing – Pirates Week is the Island’s National Festival – and this meeting was soon after he arrived. I was in charge of the Landing scenario and he had got access to the Landing Area because of his being a senior police officer, although he was dressed as a Pirate. I had a brief word or two and complimented him on his outfit and he had a short sword in his hand that he frequently used to “act” cleaning one of his ears out whilst sitting waiting for the rest of the pirates to arrive. I quipped that this was the very first time I have ever seen a policeman dress up and act like this. He quipped back, “Not just a policeman – a very senior police officer!” I hastily left him.

My other meeting was at the Prison Riot here in October 1999. The riot has its own chapter in his book but thankfully does not mention my involvement when I proceeded to send our Television Crew down to the Prison and showed the riot live for all to see on their televisions. With my wife Joan, we had started CITN/Cayman27 television station. Whilst the Government official statement was “The prisoners are all locked down. There is no rioting. All is quiet,” we at the TV Station were being told by the very, very worried nearby neighbours the opposite. Not only were the rioters setting light to the prison they had opened the gates, prisoners had escaped and roaming the streets. The latter was not true. No prisoners had escaped and the fires were very small and had been put out. However, the prisoners were definitely not locked down .The Government PR Officer called and told me via the phone that I was to read out her statement even though I told her it was not true. She got very angry with me and told me this was an order so I repeated her message at the same time we were showing the live pictures! The Head of The Legislative Assembly,now the Parliament, was not at all pleased with me nor her. Neither was the police and we even had our taped footage confiscated when it was being taken back to the TV station. At this time the Police Commissioner was off Island and you can read Derek’s account of what happened in his Book. Very, very exciting reading.

“Exciting” is the right word and “thrilling’ is even better. The book covers all the many, many thrilling incidents of Derek’s life as a Detective from his ‘on the beat’ uniformed constable beginning, all his many awards, to sadly its end. The end, actually, is dealt with in the book’s Prologue, before the actual narative begins…… At the end of my reading I wanted to know more. Please, sir, I want some more!

Incidentally, my wife, Joan’s father was the Cayman Island’s very first Police Chief. Major “Roddy” Watler who served the Cayman Islands for 33 years. He was also Captain of the Home Guard. There is no mention of him in the Official History Book of the Cayman Islands.

Maybe, some of Derek’s ‘history’ might find its way in a latter History Book of the Cayman Islands. However, if there is it won’t be as thrilling as “Hazardous Waters”.

I strongly urge you to buy a copy. Christmas is coming. The book would make a thrilling movie. Hollywood are you out there?

You can buy a copy of “Hazardous Waters” from Amazon.co.uk and BestBookPrice

In the Cayman Islands you can find it at BEST CHAPTER at Camana Bay.

Reviewer: Colin Wilson