How seniors can rev up their love lives
Experts say that your sex drive can stay high even in your senior years. But all too often, we lose energy as we age and this affects every aspect of our lives, from the boardroom to the bedroom.
“Never think that a lack of energy means an end to your sex life, and there is nothing you can do about it,” says Dr. Sharon Bober, director of the Harvard-affiliated Dana-Farber Sexual Health Program. “There are many strategies you can adopt to get back in the game.”
Bober says that lost sexual vim and vigor is often related to some kind of emotional, physical or relationship issue. Here’s a look at the most common causes according to Harvard Health Publishing:
Low hormones. Lack of sexual energy can be due to low testosterone levels. This condition called male hypogonadism occurs when the testicles do not produce enough hormone. Fatigue is one of the most common side effects. Testosterone levels drop about 1% each year beginning in the late 30’s and could fall as much as 50% by age 70. Your doctor can administer a simple blood test to determine your testosterone level. Therapy consists of absorbable pellet implants, topical gels, patches and injections that can often re-ignite sexual energy in men with low levels.
Erectile dysfunction. Men who suffer from erectile dysfunction can often experience low energy because the condition is a huge blow to their self-esteem. “Men may feel embarrassed about it or worry they will be judged in some way if they cannot perform as well as they once did, so motivation and energy for sex gets depleted,” says Bober.
Communication is key to finding a solution to this problem, says the expert, who encourages those with ED to speak with their doctors and their partners to explore drug or other options.
Poor sleep. One of the leading energy zappers in this country is lack of sleep. Poor sleep interferes with how your body stores and uses energy. Instead of feeling rested and energetic in the morning you feel sluggish and tired. And if you are tired, you have less energy for sex. Talk with your doctor about ways to improve your sleep quality such as changing medication options, cognitive behavior therapy and adjusting your diet and sleep patterns.
Lack of exercise. Regular exercise is one of nature’s finest energy boosters. Numerous studies have linked regular exercise with improving fatigue, especially among sedentary people. Experts recommend just 2.5 hours a week of moderate intensity exercise to do restore energy. Try a combination of cardio and weight bearing exercises like brisk walking and resistance training.
Stay in sync. Bober says that very often poor communication between partners accounts for lack of sexual energy. “Sex may not always be comfortable for women because of menopausal symptoms like vaginal dryness,” she says. “This can affect both partners, and if a man is worried that he might hurt his partner, that will certainly affect his interest in sex.”
Bober recommends discussing these issues with your partner and reaching a compromise that pleases both parties. “There are many ways to be sexually active with your partner besides traditional intercourse,” she says.
Invest in change. Couples can into ruts that make for boring sex lives, notes Bober. “It can be fun to speak with your partner about ways to keep the relationship interesting and even erotic,” she says. The expert suggests having more date nights, going for a long romantic weekend, or even taking up simple activates together to reignite the passion. “Investing in change can energize both you and your partner, and most important, pave the way for a renewed sense of closeness and novelty that is great for all couples,” she says.
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