By Melissa Martin

Around the globe, there are many national awareness days in any given month. Many of these bring awareness to health concerns and important issues.

However, some are official or unofficial days probably declared by the bored, irked or goofy, I assume. Some celebrations are silly, some weird, and some ridiculous. Many revolve around glorifying food. Some are bizarre, some unique, and some funny. 

Here’s a solution to the problem of how to celebrate all these days. Let’s group the days together and acknowledge them on the same day of the month to save energy and sanity. 

The following days are given kudos in January: Spaghetti Day, Squirrel Appreciation Day, Peanut Butter Day, and Shortbread Day. Why not celebrate by eating spaghetti with a squirrel or eating a squirrel with spaghetti? Dessert can be peanut butter slathered on short bread. Yummy! Any objections.

The following days are given attention in February: Do A Grouch a Favor Day, Tortellini Day, Almond Day, World Thinking Day. The favor is the forgoing of throwing almonds and a bowl of pasta at the grouch. Think about it.

The following days are given esteem in March: Umbrella Month, Potato Chip Day, Napping Day, Old Stuff Day. Try to eat potato chips while holding an umbrella—sounds like a new Olympic sport. I’m getting older and need more naps—so I’ll celebrate these holidays.

The following days are noticed in April: Stress Awareness Day, Mathematics and Statistics Day, DNA Day in the USA. Oh, let’s all be more aware of our stress—then we can stress out more. Focusing on math and DNA will take our minds off of stress or not.

The following days are given observance in May: Zombie Awareness Month, National Twilight Zone Day. Find a zombie in the Twilight Zone and say, “Thank you for your service. But please don’t eat me.” 

The following days are applauded in June: Hug Your Cat Day, National Catfish Day. What a coincidence that Hug Your Cat Day and Catfish Day land in the month of June. Here’s an idea. Hug the cat and the fish, then let the cat eat the fish. It’s a win-win. 

The following days are commended in July: International Kissing Day, Cow Appreciation Day, Sugar Cookie Day. Yes, I’m going to say the obvious. Kiss a cow while nibbling a cookie. 

The following days are regarded in August: National Thrift Shop Day, Wiggle Your Toes Day. I like thrift shops as much as the next frugal lady, so let’s make it an entire month instead of just one day. For the person that created Wiggle Your Toes Day, I invite the population to send her/him some stinky socks—worn at least a month for putrid smell effect. 

The following days are credited in September: Fight Procrastination Day. I’ll contemplate about this day and get back to you. National No Excuses Day—I’m too busy to care. 

The following days are noted in October: National No Bra Day. Older gals need to skip this saggy day—not a pretty sight. International Day of Older Persons and Active Aging Week are both in October. Grasp! Combine them and rename to Mind Your Own Business About My Age Month and instead celebrate National Dessert Day.

The following days are saluted in November: National Pizza with the Works Except Anchovies Day, Stay Home Because You’re Well Day. Here’s what you do. Call your workplace and say, “I’m well. I’m won’t be in today. Can I still get paid?” Confuse will ensue among the Human Resources staff. The director will scramble to make a new policy whereas employees cannot receive compensation for wellness when they are not sick. I call discrimination on the excluding of anchovies—they’re just looking for a little acceptance. 

The following day is given a high five in December: National Bacon Day. Mmmm, bacon. A unique day of lusciousness. Brunch will never be the same after munching bacon cinnamon rolls. Salty, sweet, and swanky. Maple and bacon cupcakes for all. Party-worthy and savory. I have no beef with Bacon Day celebrations. 

The fact that I writing about wacky and wild appreciation/awareness days is a sign that it’s winter and I’m experiencing Cabin Fever. So, I’ll create my own unofficial days: Husbands Clean out the Garage in Spring Month, Adult Children Finance Your Parent’s Way to a Tropical Island Vacation Day, Read a Book while Eating Carrot Cake with Cinnamon Tea on a Rainy Day.

I’m just say’in. 

Melissa Martin, Ph.D., is an author, columnist, educator, and therapist. She lives in US.