I have been angry this week. I have not been able to find one good thing to give me a sense of peace and to feel love.

I was angry with our premier, Alden McLaughlin, not so much with his stubbornness over his difficulty to accept One Man One Vote is the best electoral reform for this country, but to imply the blame was with other members of his team who were not Progressive Party members.

These ‘other’ members were quick to issue a statement putting the record straight and now making us question everything the leader of our country says.

We lived through 4 years of this before and to go through it all over again. Trust takes a long time to gain but it is over in a second.

If you cannot trust your leader who can you trust?

The week got worse. Much worse.

The leaders of Hamas and Israel’s Prime Minister, Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu, both lying to the world whilst innocent persons are dying. One side, Hamas, fights with catapults whilst the other side, Israel, has cannons.

Some Palestinians murder 3 Israeli teens and Israelis retaliate by murdering 1 Palestinian.

This gives Hamas an excuse they have been waiting for, to use their catapults and shoot some rocks into Israel that doesn’t harm anyone,

Israel now has an excuse to defend itself and fires back with cannons blazing and immediately people, mostly the innocent, despite Netanyahu claims they are only targeting terrorists, are killed. As the bodies pile up more of these are women and children.

What is this to Hamas? Good propaganda. Israel murdering women and kids. The world is on their side. People are expendable.

Israel feels exactly the same. We are sorry women are children are being killed but it is not our fault.

They are so sorry they intensify their attack with more cannons.

A peace deal is waved. Israel says we will honour a cease fire if Hamas does.

Hamas says they were not privy to the terms of the peace deal at the same time Israel was so no deal.

Finally Hamas kill an Israeli.

Victory is theirs they cry.

Now Israel marches into Gaza telling Palestinians legally living there to leave their homes or face being killed.

And Hamas tells their people we are winning the war.

Nati Gabbay puts it very well in his article in The Jerusalem Post last Saturday (19) under the title “Psychological warfare between Hamas and Israel” when he says “In ongoing conflict between Israel and Hamas what is counted is not the number of bodies, but the amount of fear and despair that each side succeeds to instill in the hearts and minds of its enemy”.

I go further the world watches in despair, except for our leaders. Like us they watch and supply both sides with the means to continue their madness.

If things couldn’t get worse this week it did with the downing of Malaysian Airlines flight MH17, which went down over eastern Ukraine on Thursday (17). There’s no conclusive evidence so far, but speculation is centering on the pro-Russia rebels who have been operating in the region for the last few months. Ukraine has blamed Russia. The rebels and Russia blame Ukraine.

75% or higher has been the % given to this speculation and various world leaders have appeared on television waving their fists, shouting sanctions and the perpetrators must be brought to justice for a terrorist act.

And what about the innocent people on board this airplane that died? Their mangled bodies lying all over the place whilst arguments go on if investigators can actually examine them. Their loved ones in terrible and unimaginable distress whist their grief is not even noticed by our leaders.

Do our leaders really care? What is the price of a life? Does it matter if it is an American life? A British life? A Dutch? Other nationalities? Is there a different price tag?

Just writing this is making me angry and I am drawing tears.

Friday afternoon I heard music.

Yes, I really did hear music. And it was the finest music not even the greatest composer that lives or ever lived could write.

I heard the music of excited young children crying and laughing with joy.

I was at my desk at St George’s Anglican Church Office that is above the Pre-school. Outside and below my window children were playing in the preschool grounds. I wasn’t working I was thinking and drowning in despair. I was asking God the question Why? Not why was He allowing all this misery and suffering but why we human beings couldn’t see the utter insanity of our actions. Weapons, that their cost to produce could feed the world’s many thousands who are starving, made to murder many thousands instead.

Sanctioned by our leaders.

Paid for by our leaders using our money to do so.

God answered my why with music. The finest. The richest. The most melodiest.

Those children playing were of mixed nationalities. Every colour. They all had the one thing none of us have.

Innocence. They were enjoying playing with the various apparatus in place there but most of all they were enjoying playing with each other.

Long may the music they make play on.

Our leaders could learn a lot from them.

And us.

Thank you for the music. Wasn’t that an ABBA song? And Abba is an Aramaic word that would most closely be translated as “Daddy”. Father. God.

I really did hear HIS music. And how I needed it.