It is alleged on social media and sources confirm that my wife committed murder and I am responsible and shall be punished forthwith.

I was asked a question by a media reporter via a link live on television and radio today during a Press Conference yesterday about why the colour of the sky isn’t as blue as it once was and whether I should apologize for my wife’s alleged murder.

I’m afraid I did not answer the question in a correct way and asked the reporter why did Jesus ride a donkey?

This has caused a fire storm.

However, the senior minister started the Press Conference by highlighting the firestorm and rightly said that I am NOT responsible for my wife’s actions. He also said I could also not be found responsible for any actions my children nor my family pets take even if they attack, bite or murder anyone.

He also said the press conference was in place to address “the national emergency … and we need to focus on what is important and what is critical and not what is exciting.”

I applaud the minister. He also commended on the job I was doing. I am so happy about that I publicly thanked him, especially at the flack I have been taking on social media about the job I am doing.

Even though the minister took less than five minutes to say all this one local commentator said (the minister) “spent most of his time today addressing the firestorm that ensued yesterday”.

The facts are there is absolutely no proof at all my wife committed this murder, nor who the victim is. The question was presented in a way that my wife was guilty. Not content with that the local commentator said I did not address the point of whether my wife had committed the murder and I did not apologise for asking the reporter why did Jesus ride a donkey.

Now comes this damning “evidence”. The senior minister concluded my wife did not commit any murder nor was any dead body found. However, the commentator stated “others in the public live stream shared that the alleged murder took place at the public shark sanctuary and that was why no body was found”.

END

EDITOR: Of course the above is pure fiction. Any similarity with any event, local or foreign, that has taken place today, yesterday or anywhere is purely coincidental.

If anyone is puzzled as to why I wrote the above today as an Editorial they can consider I am a jackass.