Junior Runner-Up – Martina Watler, age 13, Cayman Islands

Mom said “baby, do you have free time?”

Yeah, sure mom. Yes it’s true, I get a lot of free time; Yes mom it’s true, I worry a lot; yes it’s true, I don’t listen; Yes mom it’s true, I cover my face with a lot of makeup; yes mom it’s true that you work hard for my education and I should try more. Yes mom, it’s true! It’s all true!

Yes mom, I get a lot of free time, but oh, how you don’t know mom. How you can’t tell if I’m worried or not but mom, I have free time. And what do I do with my free time?

I worry, I worry about exams, but how am I supposed to worry if I was just called “ugly, stupid, or maybe just a nickname for one of my flaws” or because I’m not good enough, how am I supposed to worry about exams if I worry about what people are saying about me in the ‘new world’ called ‘the internet’, so of course I check my phone. I check my phone to see if my crush texted me back, if my best friend’s still mad at me, if my crush’s-mom’s-friend’s-boyfriend’s-pet died. (Trust me you can find out a lot on the internet.) Yes mom. I don’t listen sometimes because I’m worrying.

Worrying if I’m not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, funny enough, cool enough, smart enough, popular enough, perfect enough!

Yes I don’t listen because all these worlds that are bubbles of mine are popping, everything is collapsing, killing me slowly. It all just happens. Happens when? The night before exams. Right when I need to worry the least. And yes mom! I cover my face with make-up because I didn’t listen to you say “You’re really pretty and I love you”, and I didn’t listen to you say that because I was on my phone checking if my crush’s-mom’s-boyfriend’s-pet died. Just worrying. Worrying if they all liked me.

If I was just good enough for them.

Not ‘too much’ enough, or ‘too little’ enough; wondering, thinking, murdering my mind about that one question for all my friends, for my crush, for my best friend: Am I good enough?
But you are right mom, I should try harder so you can stop working harder. I should get an education because I want to, not because “mom said so”. I want to get somewhere and whisper, “I did it mom…” Even though I think over every little detail that happens, the more I think about all the bad stuff in high school, or middle school, primary school, it’s not all that bad. At first, you feel like you’ve been shot, or drowning but can’t breathe. Only at first, but time heals.

So mom, thanks! Thanks for getting me here, getting me everywhere. As young people, let’s make a change. Do something you love. Make a society people actually want to live in, and make it good.

So, sorry that I changed everything about me to be good enough, but as ‘the’ young generation we are good enough. We are perfect. “It’s all about where you’re at that gets you to where you want to be.” So I said “yes mom, I have free time, but I’m on my phone.”