UK: Yorkshire holds it breath – Main shipping route blocked!
BREAKING NEWS: Yorkshire holds its breath as main shipping route of pork pies is blocked!
Fred Slathwaite, Captain of the vessel, said, “One minute we were fine, then a gust of wind caught us!”
“Yorkshire is expected to loose as much as 3.45 British Pounds a day until the carnage can be cleared, which could potentially take weeks to clear” a spokesman said.
END
NOTE: Story and photo sent to us by Christopher Johnson. All inquiries and more information about this horrifying story should be addressed to him. We will forward any comments placed on this website. Please note the date.
BREAKING NEWS
I have just come off the phone from Fred Whistlebum the Mayor of Little Happenings who says all is well. He sounded a bit stressed out but here is what he had to say, in his own words.
You know Chris I’ve been down pit for 35 years and served with the Sherwood Foresters in the last war against those nasty people from ere not France, you know the ones next door but this has been my greatest challenge. To get that ship out of the mud and deliver them black puddings and Melton Mowbray pork pies to the landladies of Scarborough for their annual party was quite a problem. But I was determined to do it.
We were handicapped by the weather and I knew something was up when our Wendy said blimey dad its black over Bills muvvers. By gum she was right and it pissed it down more than when Noah got stuck. By then the siren had gone off as it used to in the war and next it was the church bells. All of a sudden the entire village turned out, all 12 of them in their wellies. I told em that’s no good the canal is three feet deep. Any road we pressed on but it was still stuck so my mate contacted the Bridlington Fishing club who loaned us a tug with a bloody great engine. I think it was nine horsepower, a lot more than my Model T Ford.
By then Professor Richard Edwards of the Lisbon Nautical Institute and late of Australia and the Cayman Islands pitched up. The problem he said was the mud which had accumulated because of over development like at Savannah where he used to live. I ad a problem by then because them women wanted to go mud wrestling but because of a lack of social distancing I said NO. The blokes were up in arms about that so I called the Village Bobby, Mr Dixon, you know the one that lives on the green, who fixed em good.
Anyway the good Professor fixed solved it all once the boat arrived. It was all a bit like 80 years ago when we had that wartime spirit you know. The villagers sang the White Cliffs of Dover and Illkely Moor By Tat accompanied by the Grimesthorpe Colliery Band. It brought tears to my eyes. I am right real proud of my village for their support and have to thank the Professor for travelling all the way from Portugal to help.
I am indebted to Mr Whistlebum for taking the time to talk to me for inclusion in Cayman Eye News. All is well that ends well.