by Russell Smith, inspiyr

Understanding the Reasons for Infidelity Can Help Prevent It

In our society, men have the rather unfortunate label of being “the cheater.” And although there are exceptions to this notion, it’s a stigma that is still associated with men – a rather unfortunate one at that, considering that there are tons of men who are loyal and faithful partners. By understanding the 5 most common reasons that men cheat, guys (and women) can avoid the temptations to be disloyal and improve their current or future relationships.

1. It’s in His Genes

Men have higher levels of testosterone. This hormone, which also causes risky behavior and increased levels of violence in men, “influences” guys to cheat. Now, this isn’t an excuse – don’t try telling your girlfriend or wife that it was the testosterone that made you do it – it’s just a scientific fact that makes it harder for men to keep their hands to themselves. Essentially, it shouldn’t take a lot of willpower for men to stay loyal; it isn’t like the testosterone is whispering, “Sleep with the cute blonde girl now!” Rather, this hormone only acts as a fuel – the man holds the keys.

2. He Needs Sexual Fulfillment

Many men turn to infidelity when they aren’t being fulfilled in the bedroom. Sure, it sounds like a pretty shallow reason for seeking another woman’s company, but sex (or lack thereof) can be a deal breaker for many men. Maintaining a healthy sex life is an integral part of any relationship, and it can definitely keep a man’s eyes from wandering. But, once again, it’s important to keep in mind that going a few days or weeks without any sex is not an excuse to go cheat on your woman.

3. He Needs an Ego Boost

Men like feeling powerful and in control, and it’s possible that they feel empowered when they have multiple sexual partners. Most guys also like feeling accomplished and successful, and they’re more inclined to start a romance with women who give them confidence. This might explain why 40% of men find their “cheating partners” at work. Regardless, this ego boost can encourage men to continue with their sexual indiscretion. Now, it takes a pretty insecure man to be unfaithful just because it helps his confidence; self-assurance should be gained from within. …

But, if a woman notices that her man is feeling down, she could always try building him up.

4. He’s Doing it for Revenge

Maybe his girlfriend or wife cheated on him, and the only way he can get over it is to do the same thing she did to him…it’s missing a bit of logic, but it’s a plausible scenario. After all, some men just aren’t very good at expressing their feelings. Of course, the first step would be to communicate with his unfaithful partner. The key here is communication.

5. He Doesn’t Love Her

This is the true, underlying cause for many cases of infidelity. If you aren’t really feeling the spark, then why are you together? Love is the glue that holds the relationship together. Without it, there isn’t much keeping men (and women) from doing things that may harm one another. The respect, faithfulness, and honesty that come with love may disappear when trust is broken, but if the love was never present (or if it has faded away) then men are more likely to cheat without remorse. For the sake of the relationship, it’s important to make sure that both people are feeling the love before they decide to get serious.

Regardless of the reasons listed above, cheating isn’t likely to solve any of the underlying problems in a relationship. Along with that, cheating goes against the fundamental trust required of any fulfilling relationship. When sexual indiscretion takes place, the relationship takes a huge hit to the core, sometimes destroying the trust, honesty, and love that were once intrinsic to it. So, if you find yourself considering cheating, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship – not just for your own sake, but also for the sake of your partner.

photos by: Alex E. Proimos & Keith Allison

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